Michael Tsen's Saga




Tuesday, December 29, 2015

nice little facts about T S E N

- Almost every TSEN are from USA, follows by Malaysia -

the meaning of TSEN is AWARD !

the reverse of TSEN is N E S T

Monday, November 23, 2015

specific language impairment

my first child has specific language impairment.
As she was my first child, I didn’t have experience.  I didn’t know what to expect and I kept on asking why !  why !! why !!!
Although I wasn’t a linguistic person but I have been able to communicate in a special way.  I talk to people in a way others couldn’t connect.  I thought I was special.  But why does my very own daughter had to go through the exact opposite?  Is it because I am special so she has to pay for my gift ?  Was it me who abuse my power given by god that now god took away something from her?  I ask and ask and ask … there wasn’t any answer.
I couldn’t get up for a long long time.  Every time I looked at her, my tears drop.  Sometimes out from the eye lids, some other times tears just swallow back on.
One day, I don’t know why nor how, I asked myself a question.  If she were to be like this, having this disability forever in her life, will I love her any less?
Suddenly I see the white in my grey world.  The answer is so obvious, so clear, so doubtless that I will love her the same if not MORE because with her disability she will need more of my love.  And I will have nothing else buy to give more and more.  Even if I have already given all of me today, I could still give her more the next day.
Suddenly the world has changed, well at least my world has changed.  Every time I looked at her, I smile.  I know deep down inside, no matter what happen, I will love her the same.
I started hugging her to sleep every night.  I talked to her as if she is my friend.  I told her about my happen moments, I told her about my sadness.  I pointed at the pattern of the wall paper and said, “see? This is rose, this is a symbol of love.  See how our room is full of love?”
Sometimes I hug her so long that I fell asleep standing.  Then she woke me up, wanting more stories.  I am the worst when I sing but I sang twinkle twinkle little star to her every night, every single night.  She never complains.  My wife ran to another room watching drama, haha ~  I would too.
She demanded more and more till sometimes I broke down too.  I couldn’t be the nice dad anymore and sometimes I have to admit I may have scolded and shouted at her.  She was totally frighten and she got worse.  Every single time I have to gain back control on my own, felt regretted, totally disappointed with myself … apologized to her, and hug her in tears again.
Very soon, I learned there is really no point for broken down.  If my love to her is really as strong as what I thought it is.  I would have been able to minimize all the hardship we have to go through together.  And focus merely on what else can we do better next?
14 years later, now, she is a teenager.  She became the love expert among her friends despite she never date (officially).  She touches people life like how I did in the past.  She is no longer close to me as she used to before she went schooling.  But I have no regret, she is no longer like what I worried she might become.
Perhaps I was lucky.  Perhaps it was me who keeps talking to her although she couldn’t really understand a word I said when she was a baby, perhaps it was my anger shouting to her, perhaps it was me slept standing that night … that has changed her.  I will never know, and I don’t need to understand life.  Because even if she is not like what she is now, I will still love her the same.  So nothing else will matter – between my love and my daughter.
At first I thought I have saved her.  But very soon I realize, it was her who has SAVED me.  For I LOVE her, unconditional love, that nothing else will come between us.  It is her allowance me to love her back that has kept me alive till to date.
Dear daughter, I love you and wish you the best in your subsequent journey ~
One day I asked my mom, was I as talkative as I am now when I was a baby.  My mom laughed, NO, you were having specific language impairment when you were a baby.

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Should you get Married ?

Unfortunately the notion of "taken for granted" is a part of love did not receive much acceptance.  Yet I observe many relationships continues to be taken for granted.  Once a person found love and being loved back, he shall be contented and enter a comfortable zone.  Once he is comfortable, he"assumes" she knows exactly what he knows;  He "expects" to be known exactly how he felt ... he took things for granted

If, unfortunately, she is not on EXACTLY the same page, this "taken for granted" situation usually would felt with negativity and eventually reduce the closeness in a relationship.

which eventually leads to

Finding someone else
who could
love me like the way I love him

~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~

One of the common solutions in most people perception is NOT to take things for granted.  That is easier said than done.  Human nature, habits and even surrounding influence all leads to ONE STATISTIC - Not many people can escape from the nature of taking things for granted, especially when you truly love someone.

Then comes the alternative option.  If you knew you are not the type of person who are discipline enough to "CONTROL" your feeling then you are bounce to look for new love.  Hence the only solution is

Fall in LOVE
with the SAME person

So the 3 possible options where you SHOULD get married are

  1. You know him, he knows you, you were made for each other, happily ever after.
  2. He understands and could CONTROL his feeling, hence never taken you for granted.
  3. Learn the methods to fall in love with the same person again and again . . .
If you don't have any of these skills, perhaps marriage is NOT a suitable path ?  

Share if you think there is another method could make a romance relationship lasts forever . . .

Friday, April 03, 2015






Sunday, March 15, 2015

Japanese @ manjalara

Saturday, March 14, 2015


Today is Pi Day and White Valentine ,  the person you are with the most today is the one you care and love the most, wish you the best !

Thursday, March 12, 2015


太多的情感输出会变成一种不需要的负担。 也就是像一个小孩子在耍脾气那样。
当一个人无悔地爱着你时候,你的emo可能可以成为他疼你的理由,充满爱意那样来陪你。但当这种被鬼迷的爱意失去后,逻辑和道理都会搬上台面了。 太多的情感输出反而成为了恶性循环的开始。

Saturday, March 07, 2015






Taman Bandaran Kelana

Some parts of the walk way is well lighted 

The night view is stunning ...

a part of walk way welcome by bamboos

partly lake reflection partly real

A clear Reflective scene

here is jungle, out there is civilization

a nicer bamboos path ...

quite a lot of people are fishing here at night ...

I wonder if they are fishing for life or just a habit ?


Monday, February 16, 2015

chicken first or egg first

According to cell evolution, it is proven that life evolve from lower form to higher form, from simplicity to complex complete form.  Hence it can only be true cell evolve into an egg first.  Only then the egg evolves into a chicken.

According to Darwin, it is proven that only those who adapt best can survive through generations.  There were first mammal then comes an extinction era.  In order to survive, instead of giving birth just to be extincted, one particular mammal has successfully adapt her body to keep her baby into a cell ... wait till after extinction era then only could she leaves her legacy.  Hence the first chicken has finally exist to lay an egg.

Sometimes people is so focus at ONE moment that they miss out the bigger real world.  If the moment is desirable then go ahead and so be it, enjoy and focus only on that moment.  But then again if sometimes that one particular moment has kept bringing us down, you may as well move on to the next moment.  We decide which moment we want to stay.  After all, it is your life ... and you only live once.

After all ... in today's world, if we want egg we could get egg, if we want chicken we could get chicken.  The question of chicken first or egg first is all but an interesting question.  We may as well enjoy discussing, talking about it.
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